Thursday, April 18, 2013

A Jog Down Memory Lane

Today was a rather eventful day for me. A lot of memories from the past were revisited, and a lot of decisions were made with respect to the future. Perhaps it is just the movie that I watched only a few hours ago (The Papaya Sisters), which was rather touching because of the various meanings it carries, or maybe something else. Either way, today I ended up having a long catch up with Death on Wings, one of my fellow clanmates in the good ol' Jabatan Pendidikan Dota (JPD) clan, which was like... two years ago?

Many of us have moved on since then, but speaking to them about the past, I am doubly relieved and joyous that we enjoyed good times back then. The same can be said of the Forum Moderation team (of Blueserver v3), and even the core group of moderators in the first Blueserver (Edenz, Emus, Dennooze, DT8 etc)... those indeed were good times - all the talk cock sessions, the procrastinating, the light-hearted chats - whatever it was, when it was time for work (be it training, replays or such), we would all put our heads down and work. It was a simple, but efficient and (what I thought was) a self sustaining system.

Things have, as you would know, changed a lot since then. The Forum Team is different in it's approach now, and I dare say (via the views of users) the same for the Server Team. Sometimes it's much better to stand behind the scenes and view things as an observer. Being able to do that while you are doing that very job is a skill that not many people possess. We tend to realise mistakes faster that way, rather than when we actually become the executioner of actions. It's thus then, easier to see where things may have gone wrong, where things have improved, and so on; in other words a comparison is much easily made.

The main problem in every organization, that stops a potentially critical revamping of the system, is inertia on the side of the management and the users. It is not easy for people to change, especially when they have become content and comfortable with what they have achieved (or the way they are living). It's thus a larger than life job to actually set about a plan to implement changes discussed on the drawing board - for it is much tougher in real life than just on sketches. People all want the good times, people want to enjoy the easy life, people want to experience fun Dota games, depending on their viewpoint of fun. So what can be done? Eventually statistics prove that not everyone will be happy with a change, and the same for a status quo decision (not everyone will be happy to remain the same).

I feel sometimes we as an organization tend to hold too tightly to the past. Even though the statement "The past is the past, the future is what we have to work on" may seem harsh to the contributions of our predecessors, as a person of the "past" in Blueserver, I think there is no problem with how wide scope the management should implement changes. By all means, changes should be done as soon as possible, for dragged down projects tend to face more opposition than smooth ones. We do have to be careful though, for in our hastiness to ensure a change occurs, we have to view things as a neutral, seeing things from both sides. (One only needs to go down memory lane *again* to witness such follies in the past).

Ice breaking sessions were definitely one of the more fun moments in our time as moderators. Forum Team ice breaking sessions were particularly fun because each of us as seniors, myself, Phoenix, Emus, Venus and Silverice would bring our mentees (apprentices) to meet with other seniors and their respective mentees. It may sound daunting to some, but went through beautifully.

Speaking to some of my senior mates also brings those old memories back, the memories of the GM time - where I would go to Blueserver channel and chat with unknown people (and offer them advice at the same time), the time where I argued with 2 others against a proposition to prolong the "ban duration", the time I was asked to stand down when I justifiably banned an "admin's brother" for leaving, all the resumes sent in, each individual one with their own writing style, Forum Central, the one stop for all our activities, as well as Bulu/Cact Server - the training ground. Those were all great moments that I would find hard to trade for anything else. Obviously there are unhappy moments too, but those came and went, with lessons learnt along the way. In any case it's inevitable for the question to be popped to me, as to when I would be returning to rejoin BS3, but I believe at the end of the day, we too, as people, must put our priorities right - and in my list studies, etc come before Blueserver.

Those were old times indeed. At the end of the day though, my mask should be left behind, for the Denster of Blueserver is no more. (It was deleted) -> what do I mean by mask? It's quite simple. Unlike real life environments, where one is more open to the expressions of others, there is big challenge in web meetings and web chats - you have absolutely no idea whether the person is bullshitting you (and showing it via sign language), being online grants you a mask. And it is this mask, the mask with which I used to help many, which is left behind as part of the deal I put in.

I hope everyone continues to move forward in the new year. Take care people!

Denny

Take care people,
Dens

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hello Dens,

This is Emus,

If you aren't sure whether I'm the real Emus, here goes:

We first met in GUM (Gamers Union Malaysia), you were going by the name Dan Trueheart that time.
I sent you a "true introduction" through email around 2006 which you couldn't read because of some reason, which I then sent to you through msn.

Either way,
How are you?
It's been a long time.

If you wish to speak to me, you can email me at emus.bsforums(at)gmail(dot)com which I will then send you the email which I frequently use.

If and only if you wish to speak to me, or just keep tabs.

YingYang@QS said...

OMGOMG!

Denster, add chatbox k =)

Denster said...

Have emailed you a reply. Do check your inbox, Emus.

Btw what was that "random" comment all about, QS? xP

UltimaHunter said...

We all know QS is random. Nice to see you back emus, I heard from Omni.

Denny, I think leaving blueserver, has got to be the best decision for many people. At least for me it was, it was when how things looked really screwed up last year, what with the takeover and stuff. I decided to take a long look at things, and realize I didn't like how things were going.

Fact is things had been pretty much stagnant then, and sad to say even though they wanted me around to continue advising them and helping the juniors, i just found my lack of ability in man management and handling that kind of situation to be rather disappointing.

Throwing all that away has been a huge relieve for me. We've all heard this phrase, "it felt like a great weight was lifted from my shoulder", and that was exactly how I felt.

I no longer feel any obligation towards blueserver, and I think none of us should. Not after so many years of service and no gratitude shown for it. The first generation, where we were still around, is also and will always be the greatest times we've ever had there.

Denster said...

I understand the weight of the shoulders part - indeed I felt a lot has been put off my shoulders, and if you don't mind me sharing, it certainly felt better the second time around. During my first time, I don't know if you knew this from our chats, but I felt that although I resigned, I had some unfinished business left within the organization, whereas after I left the second time, it gave me a peace of mind that my colleagues were much better prepared to handle crises situations.

Matt, you have been a good administrator, colleague, and friend throughout Blueserver. I share your feelings that our time was over, and I think we should be happy with what we have done - I think we all did pretty well, considering the situations we have been through together (the hostile takeover at the end of BS2, etc).

UltimaHunter said...

Let's just be grateful for all the exposure and experience we've obtain. Not likely to get that anywhere else. :)

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