It has been a terribly long time since we last met up, but when we did, Starry, Edenz, Fieryaeon, Sexbomb, Menzo and myself had a good chat about how things went through the Blueserver days, each person having different (and often fun and candid) views on each part of the administration, from the people, to the policies in place. It reminded me much about the old days, but even more of the people who played such big parts in making Blueserver what it has become today.
My (often imaginative) mind often plays this (recurring) film which resembles something much from the last few episodes of Survivor, where the last two people would journey through often harsh (and beautiful terrain) and pay their last respects to those who have fallen (by vote, or otherwise) along the way. It is sometimes a hair raising experience when I picture two people traveling through beautiful mountains, and passing each stick along the way with a name of a particular moderator (or person who has contributed much to Blueserver) along the way. Some of the names made me seriously think about those people - for indeed they have helped a lot along the way.
Some of the nicknames are of people who many may not remember, but no doubt they influenced myself to a certain degree (or enough that they actually do appear in that mental film) - such as Da3m0n, ExtGamer, SkylineSin, Halcyon, -[Nexous]-, Ribut, Iris, Apple, Spoonkin, 3570, Polarbearz, Aerith, Kyosuke86, Magez, [Neo]Sunny, and more. There are countless many, each nickname etched on a hanging wooden board along the way, and for all I know my memory may be simply recalling all those who I interacted with along the way throughout my time in Blueserver. It is funny though, I don't remember seeing my nickname, perhaps it's because it's deleted XD
Either way, there was an interesting proposition set to me (albeit in a fun manner) - what if we all (referring to my ex-colleagues in both ST and FT) rejoined? Would things work out? It is tough to say, but perhaps the main change should come from the administration itself. As a body that seeks new workers (or in this case a two-time veteran from the past), the offer has to be good enough, with good growth prospects apart from work benefits for one to truly want the job. It could of course, be voluntary, coming from pure motivation to make things better, but these all can be roughly fit into the category of work benefits, for we derive satisfaction from the job we do. In any case, things are really bad at the moment, if one were to compare them with the time we had things in an orderly manner.
It isn't really anyone's fault in particular, rather that the whole organization, myself included, failed as a whole during the closing stages of the deal that ultimately culminated in the assimilation of Blueserver into the SMM juggernaut. Apparently one of the clauses was that the forum was to be made a strictly Dota-only thing, rather than the community thing that I strove for (I had a long term plan on being able to challenge the bigger players in the Malaysian indie forum market, as well as to strengthen the PvPGN system against newcomes like GG Client), but things didn't work out in the end.
Many people may potentially see this as a reason as to why I resigned now, but it is important that they see it purely from a leadership point of view, which isn't easy but is what I believe what makes a successful leader, and one not so successful - did I accomplish my objectives? I am of the feeling that I didn't, so what does that mean? Think about it. It's not a single issue that causes something as big as the fall of several top leaders in an organization, rather it is a result of a slow rot that ultimately shows it's ugly head as a result of lack of both data collection (finding out about what exactly is agreed upon) and analysis. We all have our faults, and skeletons in our closets, and I do too.
Moving on though, it was recently suggested that I be allowed back into the Administration fold for the first time since my resignation back in 2007, for advisory purposes. While at posting time I have had no reservations regarding this particular proposal, the objective of this exercise still seems rather unclear to me. Either way, we'll see how things work out, before I put in my next move. While indeed I do value and cherish my time back in Blueserver, and BS Forums subsequently, I have to make it absolutely clear though, that I certainly wouldn't want to rejoin the team, after all, as mentioned before, my time is up (as far as it's concerned), and barring extraordinary circumstances, I would very much like to move on with life and occasionally catch up with those (hopefully successful) successors to the very team that made Blueserver what it is today.
My (often imaginative) mind often plays this (recurring) film which resembles something much from the last few episodes of Survivor, where the last two people would journey through often harsh (and beautiful terrain) and pay their last respects to those who have fallen (by vote, or otherwise) along the way. It is sometimes a hair raising experience when I picture two people traveling through beautiful mountains, and passing each stick along the way with a name of a particular moderator (or person who has contributed much to Blueserver) along the way. Some of the names made me seriously think about those people - for indeed they have helped a lot along the way.
Some of the nicknames are of people who many may not remember, but no doubt they influenced myself to a certain degree (or enough that they actually do appear in that mental film) - such as Da3m0n, ExtGamer, SkylineSin, Halcyon, -[Nexous]-, Ribut, Iris, Apple, Spoonkin, 3570, Polarbearz, Aerith, Kyosuke86, Magez, [Neo]Sunny, and more. There are countless many, each nickname etched on a hanging wooden board along the way, and for all I know my memory may be simply recalling all those who I interacted with along the way throughout my time in Blueserver. It is funny though, I don't remember seeing my nickname, perhaps it's because it's deleted XD
Either way, there was an interesting proposition set to me (albeit in a fun manner) - what if we all (referring to my ex-colleagues in both ST and FT) rejoined? Would things work out? It is tough to say, but perhaps the main change should come from the administration itself. As a body that seeks new workers (or in this case a two-time veteran from the past), the offer has to be good enough, with good growth prospects apart from work benefits for one to truly want the job. It could of course, be voluntary, coming from pure motivation to make things better, but these all can be roughly fit into the category of work benefits, for we derive satisfaction from the job we do. In any case, things are really bad at the moment, if one were to compare them with the time we had things in an orderly manner.
It isn't really anyone's fault in particular, rather that the whole organization, myself included, failed as a whole during the closing stages of the deal that ultimately culminated in the assimilation of Blueserver into the SMM juggernaut. Apparently one of the clauses was that the forum was to be made a strictly Dota-only thing, rather than the community thing that I strove for (I had a long term plan on being able to challenge the bigger players in the Malaysian indie forum market, as well as to strengthen the PvPGN system against newcomes like GG Client), but things didn't work out in the end.
Many people may potentially see this as a reason as to why I resigned now, but it is important that they see it purely from a leadership point of view, which isn't easy but is what I believe what makes a successful leader, and one not so successful - did I accomplish my objectives? I am of the feeling that I didn't, so what does that mean? Think about it. It's not a single issue that causes something as big as the fall of several top leaders in an organization, rather it is a result of a slow rot that ultimately shows it's ugly head as a result of lack of both data collection (finding out about what exactly is agreed upon) and analysis. We all have our faults, and skeletons in our closets, and I do too.
Moving on though, it was recently suggested that I be allowed back into the Administration fold for the first time since my resignation back in 2007, for advisory purposes. While at posting time I have had no reservations regarding this particular proposal, the objective of this exercise still seems rather unclear to me. Either way, we'll see how things work out, before I put in my next move. While indeed I do value and cherish my time back in Blueserver, and BS Forums subsequently, I have to make it absolutely clear though, that I certainly wouldn't want to rejoin the team, after all, as mentioned before, my time is up (as far as it's concerned), and barring extraordinary circumstances, I would very much like to move on with life and occasionally catch up with those (hopefully successful) successors to the very team that made Blueserver what it is today.
2 comments:
I see my name, back then I was a socially shy awkward kid who do not have anything in life but dota.
Where is Hex :D
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